A Rant of No Importance

Hello again! Those of you who follow my blog because you know me in real life (so, most of you) probably saw the update I posted yesterday that was the stem of this blog post. For the rest of you, it'll be a surprise!

Dear vegetarians who eat meat-shaped products, and drinkers of decaffeinated coffee, I wish to slap you.

You are a vegetarian, presumably for overly sentimental reasons. The treatment of wittle baby aminals makes you sad, and you will Fight The System by not eating their (delicious) meatfleash. "I'll have a veggie burger, and tofurkey, and meatless ribs." Meatless ribs? Which of your relatives were siblings? "I'm an animal rights activist, I don't eat meat." Oh, I'll bet you don't. You just put bacon in your mouth and then spit it out, right? You don't like meat, you just sometimes hang out late late at night. Do you wonder if meat thinks about you from time to time? You sad, sad, sack of veggies.

And, of course, drinkers of decaffeinated coffee. Why? Just...why? All of the coffee-breath, with none of the benefits of drinking coffee? The point of coffee is that it sends copious amounts of artificial awake into your system. That is why people drink it (To specify, I am talking about coffee, not Starbucks' milkshakes). Decaffeinated coffee is like drinking one of those protein shakes, sans protein. You don't want it for the taste, so why are you drinking it at all? It's like going to a fancy restaurant and ordering a side salad, why are you there? Do you just want to look like you're the kind of person who eats at those places? THERE IS NO LOGIC HERE.

There is never a reason to consume this, ever.

Thank you for reading (if you are, in fact, reading) this rant that does not matter in the slightest. This is just the things I ponder while at work.

Until later,
          Raven